Topic 3 The Right Mindset for Persisting in Something (Moving Towards a Set Goal)

Topic 3 The Right Mindset for Persisting in Something (Moving Towards a Set Goal)

2023年9月9日 第一版

S1:
粉色大象 故事

What if we’d try not to think of a pink elephant. This probably won’t work. Because as soon as the pink elephant appears in our minds, it’s impossible to get rid of it by consciously not thinking about it. And the more we try to get rid of it, the more it persists. 

The elephant simile is commonly used to show how difficult it is to get rid of intrusive thoughts by force. But we could also use this simile as a metaphor for how we approach dissatisfaction with life.

如果我们努力不去想一只粉色大象会怎样呢？很可能没用。因为一旦粉色大象浮现在我们脑海中，就不可能通过有意识地不去想就能抹除它。而且我们越是努力抹除脑中的粉色大象，粉色大象就越是固执地存在。「大象比喻」常用来说明：我们很难通过强制手段去摆脱入侵性思维。但我们也可以将大象比喻用来隐喻我们如何应对生活的不满。

S2：
粉色大象故事的意义

The pink elephant, in this case, represents our general dissatisfaction, which may manifest as negative emotions like sadness, stress, anger, or boredom. Ironically, the more we try to be less dissatisfied, the more dissatisfied we become. So could it be that this inclination to be so invested in becoming free from dissatisfaction, trying to be happy, trying to be content, is exactly the reason we aren’t?

在这种情况下，粉色大象代表了我们普遍的不满，可能表现为负面情绪，比如悲伤、压力、愤怒或无聊。讽刺的是，我们越是努力减少不满，我们就变得越不满。那么，我们如此沉迷于摆脱不满、努力变得快乐、努力变得满足的倾向，是否正是我们不满足的原因呢?

S3:
粉色大象故事的哲学意义

Here we see the paradox of willpower, which is the basis of ‘the law of reversed effort’ also referred to as ‘the backwards law’ by philosopher Alan Watts. The backwards law proposes that the more we pursue something, the more we achieve the opposite of what we truly want and the more disappointed we feel. Or simply put: the harder we try, the less likely we’ll succeed. On the flip side: when we stop trying, we’ll have what we want.

由此，我们看到了意志力的悖论，这也是哲学家艾伦·瓦茨所称的“反向努力法则”或称为“反向法则”的基础。反向法则指出，我们越是追求某事，我们就越可能实现相反的结果，我们会感到越失望。或者简单地说：我们越是努力，成功的可能性就越小。相反地，当我们无心插柳时，柳树却郁郁葱葱。

S4:
理解哲学意义 大目标与前进动力不足的原因

Imagine that you’ve set yourself a goal, which is that you want to become a millionaire, believing that this will make you happy. Setting such a goal not only means that it takes a lot of effort to reach contentment; it also means that being so far removed from that goal makes you unhappy because you realize how inadequate you are compared to what you want to be. Or how bestselling author Mark Manson put it:

想象一下，你给自己设定了一个目标，即想成为百万富翁，你相信这会让你快乐。设定这样的目标不仅意味着需要付出很大的努力才能达到满足；它还意味着，由于与目标相去甚远，你会感到不快乐，因为你意识到与你想要达到的状态相比，你是多么的不足。或者正如畅销书作者马克·曼森所说：

[..] pursuing something only reinforces the fact that you lack it in the first place. 

[..] 追求某物只会强化你一开始就缺乏它的事实。

The more you desperately want to be rich, the more poor and unworthy you feel, regardless of how much money you actually make. 

你越是迫切地想变得富有，你就会感到越贫穷和不值，无论你实际赚了多少钱。

S5:
浅显易懂的解释这个现象

So, when we strive towards a long-term goal, during the execution process, we subconsciously compare our current abilities with the goal. However, this kind of comparison often leads to disappointment because the purpose of the goal is to enhance our abilities. The result of this comparison is that we realize our existing abilities are insufficient, and significant effort is required to achieve the goal, which makes the whole endeavor feel more challenging. As the comparisons continue, our sense of disappointment deepens, and we start to fear facing this long-term goal, gradually leading to a loss of motivation to take action.

所以，当我们努力迈向一个长远的目标时，在执行的过程中我们会下意识地将自己现有的能力与目标进行比较。然而，这种比较通常会让人感到失望，因为目标的存在就是为了提升我们的能力。比较的结果就是我们会意识到自己现有的能力不足，需要付出大量的努力来实现目标，而这个过程本身就让人感到困难。随着比较的进行，我们的失望感加深，我们开始害怕面对这个长期目标，最终导致我们失去了行动的动力。

S6:
True Desires, What we really want 1

So, what do we desire? Do we desire happiness? And if so, what is happiness? Is it something that we acquire through things like love and material possessions? According to Alan Watts, we don’t know what we truly want because we cannot define it.

那么，我们渴望什么？我们渴望幸福吗？如果渴望的话，幸福是什么？是我们能够通过爱和物质财富之类的事物获得的吗？根据艾伦·瓦茨的说法，我们不知道我们真正想要什么，因为我们无法定义它。

S7:
True Desires, What we really want 2

“Why don’t you really know what you want? Two reasons that you don’t really know what you want. Number one: you have it. Number two: you don’t know yourself, because you never can. The Godhead is never an object of its own knowledge, just as a knife doesn’t cut itself, fire doesn’t burn itself, light doesn’t illuminate itself.”

“为什么你真的不知道自己想要什么？你真的不知道自己想要什么有两个原因。第一：你已经拥有了。第二：你不了解自己，因为你永远无法了解自己。神灵本身从不成为自己认知的对象，就像刀子不会割伤自己，火焰不会烧毁自己，光线不会照亮自己。”

S8:
第二：在上网之前阅读。
如何完成目标？1 早点追求目标，把他优先考虑

You don't need me to tell you that the internet is an ADHD inducing place full of cheap dopamine highs and shallow thinking. Checking your Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest and Reddit before reading a good book is like binge eating Skittles before tasting a fine wine. The wine will taste way worse and you'll feel too sick to drink it anyways. 

你不需要我来提醒你，互联网是一个让人分心、充满廉价多巴胺刺激和浅薄思考的地方。在阅读一本好书之前浏览Facebook,，Instagram，Pinterest，Reddit等软件，就像在品尝美酒之前狂吃糖果一样，美酒会变得更难品味，而你也会觉得太难受而无法品味美酒。

Point being - read books before your brain is zapped by the internet. A great way to do this, obviously, is to read first thing in the morning. Which brings me right to my next tip.

重点是：在你的大脑被互联网破坏之前阅读。显然，一种很好的方法是，早上第一件事就是开始阅读。这就引出了我的下一个建议。

S9:
第三：捆绑习惯
如何完成目标？ 2 把目标与现实捆绑

Habit bunching is when you pair an already existing habit that you enjoy doing with a habit that you're trying to work on. If it's a habit for you to drink a nice hot cup of coffee in the morning, then pair that habit with reading. An easy way to do this is to put the book you want to read next to your coffee maker in the morning so when you get up and make yourself a cup of coffee you'll see the book and you'll grab it and go. By bunching an already existing habit with one you're trying to work on, not only will it be easier to work on that new habit but the enjoyability of the first habit may even rub off on the second one.

捆绑习惯是指，将你已经享受的现有习惯与你正在努力养成的习惯捆绑在一起。如果早上喝一杯美味的咖啡对你来说已经成了习惯，那就将这个习惯与阅读相结合。一个简单的方法是，把你想要阅读的书放在早上冲咖啡的地方，这样当你早上起床冲咖啡时，你会看到书，然后你就会拿起书并开始阅读。通过将一个已经存在的习惯与你正在努力养成的新习惯捆绑起来，不仅会更容易养成新习惯，而且第一个习惯的愉悦可能会传递到第二个习惯上。

S10: Achieve Thing----Let Go
引入

What do we do when the things we want are impossible for us to attain? What do we do when things become hopeless?

当我们追求的东西不可能实现时，该怎么办？当事情变得毫无希望时，该怎么办？

S11:

In Greek mythology, King Sisyphus found himself in a seemingly hopeless situation. After he upset the gods several times, they condemned him to eternal punishment. They tasked him with rolling a boulder up a mountain, but anytime the boulder gets close to the top of the mountain, it rolls back down, and he has to start all over again. Accomplishing the task is futile. Escaping his punishment is impossible. So it seems that Sisyphus is trapped in a hopeless situation. What can he do to overcome it?

在希腊神话中，国王西西弗斯发现自己陷入了看似无望的境地。在他多次冒犯众神后，众神判处西西弗斯一项永恒的惩罚，命令他将一块巨石推上山顶，但每当巨石接近山顶时，巨石都会滚回山下，他不得不重新开始。完成这项任务是徒劳的，逃脱惩罚是不可能的。因此，西西弗斯似乎陷入了一个无望的境地。他该怎么办才能克服这个困境呢？

S12:

When things become hopeless, the wisest thing to do is to let go. And what must Sisyphus let go of? The past. He can’t keep clinging on to his past life, the life he had before he was punished, the life he had as a king, with his wealth, hundreds of servants, and his wife. Because the longer and more tightly he clings to the past, the more unbearable the present moment becomes. He must realize that there is no going backwards. He must accept the present moment and move forward.

当事情变得无望时，最明智的做法是放手。而西西弗斯必须放手的是什么？是过去。他不能继续执着于过去的生活，执着于他被惩罚之前的生活，执着于他作为国王的生活，执着于他的财富、数百名仆人和妻子。因为他越是执着于过去，当下就变得越不堪忍受。西西弗斯必须认识到没有回头的可能，他必须接受当下的现实，并向前迈进。

S13:

And once he accepts the present, he can look towards the future. Sisyphus can set himself a new goal that gives meaning to the present moment. For example, maybe he sets the goal of being so muscular when he eventually gets out that his wife will hardly be able to recognize him. And even though he might never get out, he still finds the goal useful to give meaning to his present suffering. He finds the goal useful to give him hope. So he starts tracking the number of times he can lift the boulder up the mountain in a single day.

一旦他接受了现在，他就可以展望未来。西西弗斯可以重新给自己设定一个目标，赋予当下以意义。例如，也许他设定的目标是：当他最终摆脱惩罚时，妻子几乎无法认出他，因为他变得如此强壮。即使他可能永远无法摆脱惩罚，但他仍然觉得这个目标有益于赋予他当前的苦难以意义。他发现这个目标有益于给予他希望。所以他开始记录自己一天内能将巨石推上山顶多少次。

S14:

Then he starts tracking the amount of time it takes him to roll the boulder up once. So every day, he increase the number of times and speed with which he lifts the boulder up the mountain, causing him to get stronger and stronger each day. So by letting go of the past, accepting the present moment as fate, and setting a future goal that gives meaning to his present suffering, he regains a new sense of hope and joy.

然后他开始记录将巨石推上山顶消耗的时间。因此，每天他都在增加滚动巨石的次数和速度，从而使他每天都变得更加强壮。通过放下过去，接受当下的命运，并设定一个赋予他当前苦难以意义的未来目标，他重新获得了新的希望和喜悦。

S15:
But how does Sisyphus’ story relate to our own lives?
但是，西西弗斯的故事与我们有什么关系？

At one time or another, all of us will be faced with a situation similar to him. Maybe someone close to us passes away or we unexpectedly lose a limb in a car crash, and we find ourselves clinging to a past that is no longer attainable. And at that moment, we must decide: Do we continue to pursue the unattainable and live in frustration, or do we move on? Do we remain stuck in the past, or will we, like Sisyphus, learn to let go of the past by embracing our current situation as our destiny and setting a new goal that gives meaning to our current suffering. Maybe we take the pain from losing a loved one and use it as fuel to create a future that honors them. Or maybe we take the pain of losing a limb and use it as fuel to become an inspiration to others, to show them that it’s possible to thrive under any circumstance.

在人生的某个时刻，我们所有人都会面临类似西西弗斯的困境。也许我们身边的人离世了，或者我们在车祸中意外失去了一条肢体，我们发现自己执着于回不到的过去。在那一刻，我们必须下定决心：我们是继续追求无法实现的东西并生活在绝望中，还是继续前进？我们是否仍然停滞在过去，还是像西西弗斯一样，通过接受我们当下的现实作为命运，设定一个新的目标，赋予我们当前的苦难以意义。也许我们会将失去亲人的痛苦转化为动力，创造一个尊重他们的未来。或者我们可以将失去肢体的痛苦转化为动力，成为他人的榜样，向他们展示在任何情况下都有可能茁壮成长。

S16:

Pain stops being pain at the moment it becomes fuel for a better future, or as Viktor Frankl, a holocaust survivor, wrote in his book “Man’s Search for Meaning”, “... suffering ceases to be suffering at the moment it finds a meaning…”

痛苦在成为更美好未来的动力时便不再是痛苦，正如大屠杀幸存者维克托·弗兰克尔在他的书《活出生命的意义》中写道：“…在找到意义的瞬间痛苦就不再是痛苦…”。

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